Hope because of His provision!

Psalm 139: ¹⁶ Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
         And in Your book they all were written, 
         The days fashioned for me, 
         When as yet there were none of them.

Philippians 1:6

King James Version (KJV)

 ⁶Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:

Today is mine and my husbands 9 year wedding anniversary! The past nine years have flown by and have taken us through many great times as well as through rough times.  Through it all God has been faithful and i can honestly say that I love John more today then I did nine years ago when I pledged my life to him.
These things bring me to much consideration to God's provision in my life.  I have often said I feel like God picked me up and dropped me into this life, and I still believe it is true.  When I look back on what could have been and how I totally deserve to have never been given this wonderful gift that God loved me so much that he blessed me like this really blows my mind!
YOu know if we really believe this verse from Pslam 139, then that means it isn't just true for today and tomorrow but that all the days that came before were planned as well and their consequences and the blessings they bring were not a mistake either.  God's provision for our lives is progressive.  Pushing us forward the good and bad work together.  (Romans 8:28) God has a vested interest in our lives and nothing happens by mistake, nothing can mess up God's plan for us!  and when we look back we can clearly see his love for us and how he is growing us.  As he grows us, he grows our children as well, this plan doesn't end with us, it lives on in our children and grandchildren until "The day of Jesus Christ".  It is his performance.  His script.  We just follow, obey, and live for him!

Thank you God for loving me, for giving me a husband that loves me and is an amazing man, He makes my life so incredible! Thank you for my life, and my kids, and everything you have done for us! I love you Lord!!

Hope for the blessings to come and Praise for the blessing that have already!

^{Psalms 139:16} Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
         And in Your book they all were written, 
         The days fashioned for me, 
         When as yet there were none of them. 


What of the greatest blessings in light of that verse is when you can look back on the day that was planned for you and very clearly see the hand of God in it!  Yesterday was an awesome day with the kids for school.  We tried a new tactic and did all of our subjects together.  I think it was good for Kait to hear and glean whatever she could from Johnny's classes as well as for Johnny to get the review in Kaits.  It also helped stretch our day out and give us lots of time for discussion and learning and drills etc.  It was great!  We had discussed at the beginning of our school day the meaning of bringing glory to God in our school work and in Math we talked about how our school work can teach us cool things about God (God is a God of order and He never changes) which brings glory to him that way. One of the coolest things that happened came in Science class (which we did last).  Kait was learning that on the 4th day of creation God created the sun moon and stars.   She has about a million stuffed animals.  and she is always getting new ones.  It doesn't matter how many she has or how long she has them she always remembers what she named each one. My devotional from yesterday at Quietimediary.com talked about God deciding how many stars to make and naming each one of them.I was able to share those verses with them and use Kait's stuffed animal situation and a weak example :) It was cool to see her and Johnny's faces when it dawned on them that God's power and love was so great that He not only made the stars, but the reason he knows how many there are is because he DECIDED how many there should be and named every single one of them.  If I hadn't have started my day with devotions, and then approached every subject we did from the perspective of bring Glory to God, and kait hadn't learned about the 4th day of creation, and we hadn't saved science for last, I wouldn't have been able to share what I learned, through it all the glory of God was made real in an awesome way to my kids. Looking back i can see God's hand of order and how he cares enough to make himself real to us! 

hope for forgiving others

 Psalm 139:¹⁶ Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
         And in Your book they all were written, 
         The days fashioned for me, 
         When as yet there were none of them. 

Eph 4:32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

OK so today i am dealing with a painful subject.  A truth that at least for me is a hard pill to swallow at times.  Forgiveness.  It is one of the most difficult things to do because it requires complete trust in the Lord.  Forgiveness is the ultimate hands-off experience. Once in which we cannot take action on our own against the one who wronged us, even though it would be easy to justify.  When we forgive we must trust that God is greater than we are and is going to take care of the judgement on the other person(s) and also of us for the rest of our lives after the wrong has been done.  That is a lot of trust. Especially if taking revenge is right in our grasp and we know how we would do it and when.  Even the simplest of actions such as not speaking to someone or not looking at someone.  

There are a lot of misconceptions in our world today about what it really means to forgive.  There is also the infamous phrase "forgive and forget"  We are taught that smelly principle from childhood and it isn't right.  There are many things that we will go through in life that require forgiveness, and also prevents us from forgetting or even requires us to remember.  Forgiveness does not equal trust. FORGIVENESS DOES NOT EQUAL TRUST!! Trust is a separate issue and can happen after forgiveness and most often does: however you can have forgiveness with out it.  I think it is important to understand this principle because a lot of times we feel like if we can't "feel" that trust for someone that hurt us that that means we haven't forgiven them and we spend a lot of time feeling guilty and trying to fix it.  When in reality, our forgiving that person has nothing to do with how we feel about what they did or if they would do it again.  Here is my favorite way to define forgiveness:

Forgiveness is agreeing to live with the pain, inconvenience, loss, etc that the action caused us with out treating the other person badly because of it.  It is saying: I will not hold this against you, I will trust God to take care of me, I will not take action to punish you for what you did.  

Here is where the trust comes in.  As Psalms 139:16 tells us, our days were fashioned for us before we were born.  So then, everything that happens to us in our day is known by God and is planned for by God.  He has promised us he will care for us protect us and fight for us.  It is our relationship with him that builds the trust necessary for us to forgive someone.  There will be times when someone else's action will cause irreparable damage, actions that we will never forget, actions maybe that require us to remember so that we don't get lured into a trap that will be life changing.  We can forgive them and yet still never trust them again,  This is true of people who sexually abuse others.  the victim can forgive that person, trusting God to comfort, teach, heal etc, and yet never be able to trust the one who abused them.  See?  

I think we have a real problem among Christians today who are taught (and teach their children) that forgiveness means you just say "oh its ok" and you put on a smile and you make nice.  we have superficial relationships in the church because of this and it causes weakness.  When the church and christians are attacked, they will fall if they don't have true unity.  We have forgotten the teachings, clear teachings, in God's word about true forgiveness, Godly confrontation, resulting in being closer to God and real with each-other, bringing true, long-lasting unity among the brethren!

How is Ephesians 4:32 possible?  Well in light of Psalms 139:16, get close to the God of the universe, who is powerful enough to create life and sustain it, who made a way for humans to commune with God, who takes our sin, our pain, our lives and brings to it power, love, unity, comfort, and the gift of communication!  Follow  him, don't take action against others who have hurt you, but trust their punishment and your own needs to him!!

hope for all the crap :)

^{psalms 139:16} Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
         And in Your book they all were written, 
         The days fashioned for me, 
         When as yet there were none of them. 
         


 Psalms 4:¹ Hear me when I call, O God of my righteousness!
         You have relieved me in my distress;
         Have mercy on me, and hear my prayer.
        
 ² How long, O you sons of men,
         Will you turn my glory to shame?
         How long will you love worthlessness
         And seek falsehood?  Selah 
 ³ But know that the LORD has set apart^[a] for Himself him who is godly;
         The LORD will hear when I call to Him.
        
 ⁴ Be angry, and do not sin.
         Meditate within your heart on your bed, and be still.  Selah 
 ⁵ Offer the sacrifices of righteousness,
         And put your trust in the LORD.
        
 ⁶ There are many who say,
         “Who will show us any good?”
         LORD, lift up the light of Your countenance upon us.
 ⁷ You have put gladness in my heart,
         More than in the season that their grain and wine increased.
 ⁸ I will both lie down in peace, and sleep;
         For You alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.


Well this is one for the books! Or the blogs! :) I am having a rough time right  now.  This Psalm really speaks to me.  Today I want to seek out true sacrifices of Righteousness.  I don't want to sin when I am angry.  I don't want to stop trusting when my feelings get hurt.  If all the days fashioned for me are written in his book and he has promised to never leave me, then the encouragements in Psalms 4 should be ones that i cling to!  I don't want to be one that seeks falsehood.  Funny because I think i do that.  maybe not seeking to deceive but a lot of times i rather hear what sounds good then face truth.  God wants me to trust him and take things as they come good, bad, ugly, beautiful, sweet and all the stuff in between.  Thank you Lord for ordering my days, please grant me repentance, wisdom, and righteousness.  

hope for this day of business

Psalms 139:16 Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
         And in Your book they all were written, 
         The days fashioned for me, 
         When as yet there were none of them. 

Deuteronomy 11:1
Therefore thou shalt love the LORD thy God, and keep his charge, and his statutes, and his judgments, and his commandments, alway.

I think Psalms 139:16 should spur us forward.  The light of these truthes should spur us forward in our love for God and the desire to do what is right and good.  It should build our trust in him giving us confidence to face anything that comes our way.  It should make us faithful to him!

Hope for the moments when i don't feel well...again :)

Good morning. Psalms 139 is as sweat and good as it was the first time I read it. Psalms 139:16 Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
         And in Your book they all were written, 
         The days fashioned for me, 
         When as yet there were none of them. 
         

A Song of Ascents. Of David.

131:1 O Lord, my heart is not lifted up;
my eyes are not raised too high;
I do not occupy myself with things
too great and too marvelous for me.
2 But I have calmed and quieted my soul,
like a weaned child with its mother;
like a weaned child is my soul within me.

3 O Israel, hope in the Lord
from this time forth and forevermore. (ESV)

Putting everything into context, speaking to the one who knows me better than anyone ever could, knowing that he made me, that each day is planned for me and under control, this passage from psalm 131 is interesting to me.  I love how David talks of the comfort found from a mother even in the independence of being weened.  Maybe I am wrong but that is how it struck me this morning. It is cool to me to think about the comfort of God. I don't know how to put into words what I mean and why this was special to me.  I think it has something to do with coming not just to have our physical needs met, but having them met and coming to God for the comfort and security only he can give.  The comes a time in every child's life when they don't need their mom to feed them any more but they still need her to hold them and love on them.  For me, today, all my needs are met.  God has kept his promise to me, i am not going hungry, I am not thirsty, I have clothes to wear and a roof over my head, but oh the joy of climbing into his lap and soaking up the love and comfort that only he can give.  I think sometimes we only go to God when we think we need something, if that is all we ever do, then we forgo the pleasure of his presence on those I just need a hug moments.  Are we viewing him as our source of everything? Or is he just a vending machine to us? 

Hope for the moments when i don't feel well...

^{psalms 139:16} Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
         And in Your book they all were written, 
         The days fashioned for me, 
         When as yet there were none of them. 
         


^{psalms 139:11} If I say, “Surely the darkness will ^[g]overwhelm me,
And the light around me will be night,”
¹² Even the darkness is not dark ^[h]to You,
And the night is as bright as the day. 


I spent five long hours in the darkest room i could get with a sleep mask and covers over my head in extreme agony yesterday.  The migraine headache came on impossibly fast and took me down hard.  I wish I could say that in that time I concentrated on the Lord and his power and love for me-I didn't.  Mainly I concentrated on getting through the pain and nausea.  In my torment I searched for anything that would make me feel good in it and I didn't seek the Lord.  I should have.  And now in looking back I see the significance of sitting in the dark.  This time the dark was not a scary thing, it was a comfort, and through that awful experience i can appreciate the illustration.  Only God can take something that is worrisome to us and turn it into a time of comfort, and that doesn't always mean getting us out of the situation. See, God is so powerful that he can comfort us and make us feel safe and secure even in the middle of a trail! He doesn't have to remove us from the situation to help us! I love that! 

hope for the fact that i was up all night :)

This morning I am thankful for God's word, and for  my husband who works so hard to make sure his family has what they need and always puts God first and the will of God first in our home!  I am thankful for our kids who are growing and are such a blessing to me! I am weary this morning after been up most of the night with my Kaita who has an ear ache.  Today is to be our first get together for our co-op.  We are all excited about it, me more than any one i think just because I have dived in with both feet into homeschooling and this is my first official meeting of some of the other moms who i will be spending this year getting to know and partnering with and I am excited for the social aspects for the kids to meet new friends who are doing the same as we are.  I think having an army of friends around them will be one major step in not making them feel isolated or that homeschooling is something that only they are doing.  Haha I know it will be helpful to me to have an army of friends for my self. :)
Anyways I don't know why but today the passage I want to add to my Psalm 139:16 verse today really doesn't have much to do with my life right now that I know of but it is on my mind and therefore I am going to write it out.  No doubt I will be in a situation soon where this will apply lol so maybe I better start meditating on it now. :)

^{Psalm 139:16} Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
         And in Your book they all were written, 
         The days fashioned for me, 
         When as yet there were none of them. 

^{Psalm 107: 17}Fools because of their transgression, and because of their iniquities, are afflicted.

 ¹⁸Their soul abhorreth all manner of meat; and they draw near unto the gates of death.

 ¹⁹Then they cry unto the LORD in their trouble, and he saveth them out of their distresses.

 ²⁰He sent his word, and healed them, and delivered them from their destructions.

 ²¹Oh that men would praise the LORD for his goodness, and for his wonderful works to the children of men!

My Dad was an evangelist for 2 1/2 years beginning when I was about 9.  There was a sermon he preached see? God must have wanted to me to learn it because I heard it countless times till I memorized it.  It was always my favorites because God gave my dad simple truths from Psalm 107 that should have been obvious but they weren't until he brought them out.  One of his points was that God saves us when we cry out to him even when we are in a predicament that we got ourselves into.  He doesn't just leave us there and say "well i told you not to do that so when u get hurt don't come crying to me"  He picks  us up cleans us off and heals us.  He used this passage as the reference for that point. As I said before, as far as I know i haven't done anything to put myself in a bad place or have chosen not to listen to the words of God, but there is a good chance that in the near future foolish behavior will not allude me :) So for today, because "all the days fashioned for me were written in His book before I was even born and because his plan for me is perfect and because he loves me and will be there even when i mess up and get my self in a mess, I will praise him today for illuminating my path and for creating me, planning for me, and for his goodness and his wonderful works to the Children of Aaron Turner :)  Thanks Dad! I love ya!

Hope for every moment of this day

NKJ Psalm 138: ¹⁶ Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.

         And in Your book they all were written, 
         The days fashioned for me, 
         When as yet there were none of them. 




 NIV 1984 Psalm 139:¹¹ If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me 
   and the light become night around me,” 
¹² even the darkness will not be dark to you; 
   the night will shine like the day, 
   for darkness is as light to you.


In an effort to understand Psalms 139 to the best of my ability I have been studying it in several different trusted versions.  It has been interesting to see the variations of words and phrases and how each one says the same thing in a unique way, some of them triggering new understanding.  So today the verse I added was from the NIV, because I love the way the words speak on a very simple level gives it such a powerful visual to cling to! Inspiring child-like faith! After all, if God cannot see through or illuminate darkness us who were in darkness would have been doomed to hell! But how many times is that darkness more real to us when we are going through a hard time? The Arms that hold the universe are holding us, we can rest in them! Love that song btw :) ok gotta go start school now! 

Hope for the moment 5

^{Psalms 139:16} Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
         And in Your book they all were written, 
         The days fashioned for me, 
         When as yet there were none of them. 


Ok before I add another verse to this I just gotta express how awesome it was to discover for the past few days the kids school work has been littered with parts of Psalms 139!! not only in their immediate studies but also in the future as I looked into their books to plan! God showed me this passage and specifically verse 16 through a ladies bible study, not through their school work! So to find it in their books like this just really shows me the power of God and he must really want me to continue studying this passage and continue my quest of adding a verse to it to illustrate different truths and how they are magnified by it!


So today the verse to add it... Phil 4:13¹³ I can do all things through Christ^[a] who strengthens me. 
One thing that is screaming to me this morning with this combination is Its ALL ABOUT HIM!  If HE planned my days and HE is the one who gives me strength to get through those days then it is only HIM that I need to trust in and focus on! If the strength from the one who created the universe is the strength offered to me through a day that has already been planned then there is no such thing as a de-railed day! Only a day ordained by God to bring his glory to pass in my life!!! Lord my may life be glorifying to you today and may your unity abound in my kids and I so that our day will be filled with peace to bring glory on honor to the one who ordained unity! 

hope for the moment 4

Psalms 139:16 NKJ (I love how it is written in this particular version!)  Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
         And in Your book they all were written,
         The days fashioned for me,
         When as yet there were none of them. 

Romans 8:38-29 For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, ³⁹ nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

These verses together bring to my mind another verse that is also in Psalms 139.  It is verse 5 :You have hedged me behind and before, And laid Your hand.

upon me.  There is nothing we can do, no where we can go, with out running smack into God.  We may think we can run from him and he can withhold the feeling of his presence from us, but he is always there.  He has been there before us, he is with us now, and he will be there in the future.  I know this, yes, but knowing it and meditating on the awesomeness of it are two different things :) Today I want to keep in mind that Even though he knows me better than anyone even myself He loves me and nothing can separate me from him! Not only has he planned my days, and nothing that enters them is a surprise to him or something he can't deal with, but He has planned to go with me through them! Thank you Lord!! Such knowledge really is too wonderful for me! (psalms 139:6)

Hope for the moment 3

^{Psalms 139:16} Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
         And in Your book they all were written,
         The days fashioned for me,
         When as yet there were none of them. 
¹⁷ How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
         How great is the sum of them!
 ¹⁸ If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand;
         When I awake, I am still with You. 


As I continue with my adding a verse or verses to Psalms 139:16 I thought it only right and extremely encouraging to add 17 and 18 to it today! How often do we really concentrate on "the thoughts of God"? To be sure the only way to even remotely fathom His thoughts would be to know him well.  This brings to my mind one of my favorite attributes of the Holy spirit! He knows the thoughts of God! (1 Cor 2:11)It is through his Holy Spirit that we can comprehend and understand His thoughts! The thoughts of God being precious to us conveys an intimacy with God and sweet communion had only by his people.  It is through this wonderful process that our boldness comes when going to his throne!! So as I go through this day, Our very first day of homeschooling, I want to be aware of the thoughts of God and live in each moment as he would have me live.  He has planned my days for me and he thinks about me all the time, and I want to be close to him and bring glory to him as I live my life as a woman of God, wife and mother! 


Incidentally there is a spider who has made a huge beautiful web outside our kitchen/school room window. In all its pretty colors the kids named her Sparkles.  she is a writing spider :) her web looks like it has a zipper in it.  I just think it is cool to have a writing spider to watch as we start homeschooling :) 

there's still hope for the moment!

^{Psalms 139:16} Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
         And in Your book they all were written,
         The days fashioned for me,
         When as yet there were none of them.
         
^{Romans 8:38} For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, ³⁹ nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Hope for the moment 2

As I mentioned before, I have gleaned some wonderful things from this new Bible study! :) My Husband and I have recently embarked upon a new journey.  He is working full time as the Executive Vice President of WMtek, and has begun seminary classes.  We have also decided to homeschool our 2 children for the first time this year.  Our life is extremely busy but Praise the Lord it is A LIFE, not four different lives who happen to live in the same house.  With this crazy, busy, wonderful life comes challenges we have never had to face before.  And my role in it has become way more complex!

John is normally up literally all night working on either school or work.  He never sleeps.  My role is caretaker, encourager, partner, alarm clock, secretary, chief coffee maker, housekeeper, wife, love.  I enjoy it more than I can say and I am so thankful he is able to complete his classes from home! We are truly blessed!  At times is is hard but as all doctors will tell you when they have to give you a medication that will help you a lot yet has some unpleasant side effects: The benefits outweigh the risks :)  My desire through it all is to bring glory to God and to create an oasis for my husband so that our time with him is a time of refreshment and rest.

To my children, I am now taking on not just my usual role of mother, confidant, encourager, comforter, again housekeeper and friend, but teacher as well.  I am extremely excited and also scared by the responsibility that it brings.  All this coming at once is a lot to deal with which brings me to the hope that i have learned through this bible study and what I am carrying with me through out this journey.  It is a hope that I pray will encourage the reader of this humble blog as well!

Psalm 139:16¹⁶ your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me 
   were written in your book before one of them came to be.

wow! My Days were planned by God before I was even born, as were my husband's, and my children's!! Thank you Lord! Now in light of the beautiful truth I have an idea that I will be putting forth God willing every day for as long as it takes :)  That plan is to Ad a different verse to this every day to meditate on God's wonderful provision for me!!!  For example:Psalm 139:16¹⁶ your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.  AND Romans 8:28 ²⁸ And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,^[a] who^[b] have been called according to his purpose.  See if that doesn't hearten you! 

Hope for the moment

Recently God blessed me by giving me the opportunity to be a part of a women's Bible study with some of my closest friends.  The topic was beauty.  Beauty is something that I have been obsessed with for a long time! I worry that if I loose weight I will loose it in the wrong places and gain it in the wrong places.  I worry that i will be repulsive to my husband but not know it.  I exercise and eat right most of the time but have recently almost given up.  I binge eat and feel hopeless frequently because I will never look like a model and lament that my post baby body will never look like it did before.  My husband is wonderful and always makes me feel beautiful and wanted and yet I don't look at my self and see anything other than ugliness, and still I eat and neglect getting up to work out.  The bible study Centered around realizing that God has explicitly mapped out for us a way to true beauty and it wasn't what I expected! I found myself realizing that i was going about it all wrong, and at the same time greatly encouraged because His way is so much more peaceful!  God showed me that He made my body (even my post baby body) for His purpose! In my pursuit of God, but taking care of my body should be with a kingdom purpose. The reason I work out and eat right should be so that my temple is better equipped for service.  My attractiveness to my husband is not just for our pleasure.  It is so that our marriage will bring Glory to God! When I seek him first, the rest of these things will fall into proper perspective.

role reversal-3

Hagar's meeting with God.

7 The angel of the LORD found Hagar near a spring in the desert; it was the spring that is beside the road to Shur. 8 And he said, “Hagar, slave of Sarai, where have you come from, and where are you going?”

   “I’m running away from my mistress Sarai,” she answered.

 9 Then the angel of the LORD told her, “Go back to your mistress and submit to her.” 10 The angel added, “I will increase your descendants so much that they will be too numerous to count.”

 11 The angel of the LORD also said to her:

   “You are now pregnant

   and you will give birth to a son.

You shall name him Ishmael,^[a^]

   for the LORD has heard of your misery.

12 He will be a wild donkey of a man;

   his hand will be against everyone

   and everyone’s hand against him,

and he will live in hostility

   toward^[b^] all his brothers.”

 13 She gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen^[c^] the One who sees me.” 14 That is why the well was called Beer Lahai Roi^[d^]; it is still there, between Kadesh and Bered.

Then the angel of the LORD told her, “Go back to your mistress and submit to her.” 10   I love that God never offers a solution to our problems the includes going against the system he set up.  Slaves were to be submissive to their masters.  Hagar needed to go back and submit, even though from a human standpoint it looked like she needed to get out of there.  Wow, that is grounding isn't it?  

Hagar had run from Sarai.  She didn't seek the Lord either.  But oh the wonderful part: The Lord sought out Hagar! What a comfort it is! The presence of the Lord in her life gave her comfort and security in a time of extreme pain and fear.Vs 13“I have now seen^[c^] the One who sees me.” Sometimes we are like Hagar. Sometimes we are the victims of others decisions made outside of seeking God.  Sometimes we are hurt and we want to run from our circumstances.  We need God to seek us out and remind us that he sees us and he will protect us.  Whether we need to repent and seek, or we need God to get our attention, what we need is to be in the presence of God, To see the one who sees us"  In that we find peace and the solutions to our problems, real or imaginary :)  

Hagar recieved the courage she needed to go back to Abram and Sarai and lived there many more years with her son.  

role reversal-2

Vs 4 He slept with Hagar, and she conceived.

   When she knew she was pregnant, she began to despise her mistress. 5 Then Sarai said to Abram, “You are responsible for the wrong I am suffering. I put my slave in your arms, and now that she knows she is pregnant, she despises me. May the LORD judge between you and me.”

Role reversal in a marriage will only lead to more problems.  The result of their little plan was that Hagar began to hate Sarai once she became pregnant.  Now it doesn't say exactly why, but I imagine knowing that the only reason your mistress gave you to her husband was so you could give them a baby might lead to a little bit of bitterness. Sarai blamed Abram.  Goes to show you, taking the lead role over your Godly husband, though it may seem like a solution, will only result in a loss of respect.  Sarai blamed abram and wanted him to find a solution.  Instead of taking control, Abram continued to allow Sarai to rule the roost by telling her to do whatever she wanted to Hagar. “Your slave is in your hands,” Abram said. “Do with her whatever you think best.” Then Sarai mistreated Hagar; so she fled from her.You can see though that he didn't consider Hagar a wife. Shows his heart was sinful even though from the outside the marriage to Hagar was legit.  Sarai, once again, took matters into her own hands, with out submission to God , and was mean to Hagar.  That Goes to show you, not seeking God, and not submitting to your husband, will result in a loss of leadership and make you miserable.  Sarai was unhappy and was lashing out against God, Abram and Hagar.  Again they both missed an opportunity to repent and ask God to help them leading them to make the wrong decisions. 

There is beauty in the rest of this story leading up to the result of their sin: the birth of Ishmael.  Hagar's meeting with God...to be continued